I think the hardest thing for me is going home. The place I was raised, the place I thought I would the place that once I moved back to after college I would live there forever, and the place I would have children at. I love to go home to visit my family, I love spending time with my grandma, my parents, my brother and a handful of close friends. I just hate the rumors, the people that think they know what happened in my marriage and the people that have made assumptions or have believed some of the rumors about me.

I’m a nice person, sometimes I tend to be headstrong, I have 2 or 3 very close friends, friends that have called and have kept in touch since my move, the ones that know my secrets and have never told them. Then there are the people that think they are my friend and the only thing they really want is a piece of the story that went on between closed doors between my ex and I. For them, they get nothing from me. I tell people my ex is a good person, we had issues and we didn’t work at them...end of story....nothing more to tell. Well, there’s much more to it, but I haven’t said a word to anyone about some of the awful things that happened, why dwell on the past when the future is right now and tomorrow.

Unfortunately people enjoy putting there own twist to my story, they like to make up things, some are things they have heard that somehow have come from my ex and his fiancee, some are tidbits that they have decided to add their own twist to, some pieces have come from his family and then there are threads that have been woven just out of spite. It amazes me at times the things that I have heard about myself and I always wonder now how in the world did that get around. Almost all of it is nonsense, some is vague truths and some is complete lies.

I’ve had people talk dirt about me before, its not the first time nor will it be the last time I am sure. I know what the truths are and I know that I am a better person that I have left the things that went on behind closed doors to stay shut away in a closet. Sometimes I’d like to speak up and say something to some of the things I have heard, but then I think about it and know I am the better person because I am not added fuel to the fire, I’m not stirring the pot that doesn’t need to be stirred. I know in the end when its all said and done, I’m the one that is the winner, the one that is coming out on top.

I know when I hear people talking about other people at work, I just politely excuse myself because I’ve been the one they are talking about...and I know how I felt. It hurts. No matter how strong and tough you are, those words are thrown out there and they do bruise you, they bruise your emotions and make you feel a bit vulnerable. No one likes to feel vulnerable or have hurt feelings. So when I hear the gossip coming from the mouths of those that know nothing about that person, I will leave and sometimes if I will even tell them until you have walked a mile in their shoes you have no right to judge, belittle them by passing on garbage or repeat something you heard that you know nothing about. People get a tad testy when you challenge them and most know what they are repeating isn’t right but sometimes you have to take a stand and be the one to stand up for someone else....because we have all been there at one time or another.....

xoxo

Cynthia